When Performance Management Feels Like Bullying
Performance management is supposed to help people grow, not feel torn down. Yet, it’s common for employees to say the process feels more like bullying than support.
Why does this happen? Often it’s not the process itself, but how it’s handled:
- Feedback is delivered in a blunt or public way.
- Targets feel impossible or keep shifting.
- One person is singled out while others fly under the radar.
- Conversations feel one-sided, with no chance to respond.
When this happens, employees can easily feel attacked instead of supported. The result? Lower trust, disengagement, and sometimes even formal complaints.
So how do we make performance conversations feel constructive instead of destructive?
- Be clear and base feedback on facts, not opinions.
- Keep discussions private, respectful, and balanced — highlight strengths as well as areas for improvement.
- Offer support and tools to help employees succeed.
- Make it a two-way conversation, not a lecture.
- Train managers to coach, not criticise.
The big difference is this: performance management is about behaviour and results — bullying is about the person. When leaders keep that distinction front of mind, performance reviews become opportunities for growth instead of moments of dread.
Handled well, performance management builds capability and confidence. Handled poorly, it damages culture and trust. The choice is in how we approach the conversation.
How does your organisation make sure performance conversations are constructive?